Comic Level Worm
by MortiferSB
Summary: Compared to the overpowered antics of Marvel and DC, Worm is rather tame power-level wise. Let's fix that, shall we?
1. An Average Day On Earth Bet

Restart the heart. Heal the brain. Raise the dead.

Rinse and Repeat.

Panacea sighed.

Really, Glastig Uaine had it easy. She just had to wave her hand, and everyone lives again. She had to heal every individual person, one at a time, to make them live again.

"Now where?" Asked Glory Girl.

"New York." Replied Panacea. "Bonesaw made evil twins again."

"Legend?"

"As always."

"And then we go to Brockton Bay to rez Miss Militia, right?"

"Actually, she hasn't blown herself up in a glorious, patriotic sacrifice for almost a full day now. New record."

"What, did all the Villains decide to take the day off or something?"

"Most likely."

"Well, we should go fix up everyone in New York again, or Legend will never stop moping."

* * *

Fighting the Undersiders was a nightmare.

As Grue's darkness rolled over the city, Bitch's monstrosities struck.

A Cerberus-like hound jumped at Vista. A handwave later, and the hound was buried under a collapsed building.

A demonic, horned dog ran at Clockblocker. He froze the air around, and heard the hound knock into the invisible wall.

Aegis's veins and arteries warped into tentacles, to compensate for the missing arm. The dog surrounding him moved too fast to be seen, appearing to be a blurrish ring around him.

Regent clicked his fingers, causing every human being nearby to trip over.

Skitter flew in the air, carried by a swarm of insects. Her bug sense allowed her to co-ordinate the Undersiders, while the Wards were left blinded.

In other words, the Wards were getting their asses handed to them.

It was fortunate, then, that Armsmaster arrived when he did.

"I still call bullshit on Miniaturization letting him build Giant Mecha." Muttered Regent.

* * *

Coil faced off against the Oni Lee.

And the timeline _fractured._

Millions of timelines, possible worlds, gave him millions of chances.

In the first, he struck. Oni Lee teleported behind him, and ripped out his spine.

In the second, he ducked under the teleporters arm, and grabbed it, pulling it over him.

Oni Lee reached for his vest, activating the explosives. Coil pushed him away. Oni Lee ripped off the vest and threw it at him.

In one reality, Coil dodged, and was killed by a teleporting duplicate with a knife. In others, Coil grabbed the vest, and threw it where the duplicate would appear.

Oni Lee growled, and suddenly, there were millions of him.

Cursing, Coil split every one of his timelines, and charged.

Infinite timelines against infinite duplicates. The battle could continue until one gave up.

Or when help arrived.

Bursting through the wall, Genesis's projection began ripping the teleporters duplicates apart. With it's seven long, bladed arms, and many fire-breathing mouths, the villains was able to make short work of the teleporter.

Weighing his options, Oni Lee fled.

Dusting himself off, Coil grabbed his phone and called Tattletale.

"Before you say anything, boss, I would like to, once again, complain about how _bullshit _powers are."

"Get over it. I need you to work out how he found me."

"Well, that's simple. _Fucking Bullshit Powers!_"

"Maybe I should call you back later."

_"Don't you dare hang up on m-" _Beep. Beep. Beep.


	2. The Triumvante

"No, I'm the real Legend!"

"No, I'm the real Legend!"

"No, your the evil clone. I'm the real Legend!"

Alexandria sighed. "A puppy is stuck on a cliff, about to fall. On the other side of the planet, Jack Slash is about to stab a little girl. Who do you save?"

The first legend looked at her. "The little girl."

Alexandria punched him in the face, knocking him out. Then, she turned to the second Legend.

"...The puppy?"

Alexandria kicked him in the family jewels.

"Where's the real Legend." She demanded.

"In your mother." Snarled the fake Legend. Alexandria kicked him again.

"Oh god, the pain! He's in Australia!"

Alexandria punched him, then groaned.

"Australia. Fuck. He'll be eaten alive."

* * *

"Yo Legend."

"What are you?"

"Names Khonsu. You looked intresting, so I distracted the natives."

"What are you?"

"Endbringer. Don't worry, I'm on vacation."

"...What."

"Yeah, the others are getting annoyed by that. Except Simurgh, she keeps smirking. No idea why."

"You're a fucking Endbringer."

"Ya. Also, what day is it?"

"Tuesday."

"...Shit."

The giant circular barrier around the two collapsed, and the two were attacked by giant spiders.

Legend fired at one of them. The beam incinerated it, and Uranus, instantly.

Khonsu waved his hand, and several spiders aged into dust.

The last spider began making a laughter-like sound, before the egg sacks hatched.

Legend began flying into the air to grab the moon, but was caught by a swarm of poisonous spiders. Thankfully, he died instantly. Khonsu sighed.

"Ah, fuck it."

Khonsu clicked his fingers, and a cloaked woman appeared.

The spiders looked at her, and, literally,_ screamed._

The woman looked mildly annoyed. The spiders began tearing their throats out.

The woman sighed, and glared at Khonsu.

"Please forgive me." Said the Endbringer. "I needed Legend's body intact. I will return you to your time period now."

Khonsu clapped, and the woman disappeared.

Noticing an approaching speck, Khonsu put up a barrier, making it look like he was made of stone.

Alexandria arrived, looked around, sighed, and grabbed Legends corpse.

* * *

"You need to be more careful, Legend." Said Glastig Uaine.

"I try." He moaned.

"Just because I can resurrect everyone doesn't mean that I'll always be around."

"Yeah yeah."

"And every time I bring you back, Alexandria pays me to scold you, which is time I'm not raising the dead of whatever war broke out today."  
"Wait, what?"

"Glastig!" Hissed Alexandria. "Don't tell him that!"

"Bu-"

"Go resurrect the people who died because of Moord Nag today."

Glastig Uaine shrugged, waved her hand, and simultaneously resurrected six million, three hundred and sixty nine thousand and twelve people.

"Now, Legend...A puppy is stuck on a cliff, about to fall. On the other side of the planet, Jack Slash is about to stab a little girl. Who do you save?"

"I go Faster Then Light and save them both."

Alexandria hit him.

"Ow! What was that for!"

"For making me worry."

Eidolon watched this exchange.

"...Oh god, she's Tsundere."

"_What did you say!"_

"Nothing!"


	3. Wards

"How does Clockblocker get so many puns in during a fight, anyway?" Asked Aegis.

Gallant shrugged. "Dunno. Maybe he freezes the flow of time, slowing it down enough for him to think faster."

"...He can do that?"

"I can use emotion manipulation to turn trees into deathtraps, and you adapted redundancies to slow your _aging_, and this surprises you?"

"Touche."

"Anyway, where's Vista?"

"..."

"...Dammit. Not again."

* * *

"I. Have. **All The Kitties!**"

"Vista, stop using your powers for Evil."

"How is playing with all the kittens in the world Evil?"

"You stole them."

"If the universe didn't want me to be cute with kittens, then why did I get space warping powers?"

"Because... Dammit, I can't argue with that logic."

* * *

"-s the dread watcher observed her hunting group, sh-"

"Sophia, what have I told you about narrating."

"Only do it when I get my movie deal."

"I'm fairly certain that's not what I said, but good enough."

"Now go awa- Oh! Grue!"

"No killing people under the age of eighteen."

"I won't!"

As Gallant walked away, Sophia smiled. "I'm just going to _make some friends._"

* * *

"Regent, no."

"Come on."

"No."

"I'll give you a million dollars."

"No."

"Two million dollars."

"No."

"A billion dollars."

"No."

"I'll seduce your sister if you don't."

"...Low blow, Regent."

"C'mon Grue."

He sighed. "Fine."

"Now, the next girl we meet, ask her if she has a permit to look so pretty."

"As long as you stay away from my sister."

"Deal."

Grue turned around, and was punched in the face by Shadow Stalker.

Grue blinked, looked at her, then glared at Regent.

The supervillain gave him thumbs up.

Grue sighed, and turned back to Shadow Stalker. "Hey, do yo-"

* * *

"You know, Stalker-"

"Shut up, Clockblocker."

"I always thought that I'd be the first one to get seduced by a supervillain."

"When I take over the world, you die first."

Panacea walked in. "Okay, who needs resurrecting."

"We haven't seen Miss Militia in an hour." Replied Gallant. "Armsmaster lost sight of her during a fight."

In the distance, an exploding sound could be heard.

"I think she went that way." Said Clockblocker, waving his hand in the general direction of the blast. "Just a hunch."


	4. Skitter vs Weaver

The Simurgh sat on her golden throne, watching the pawns move.

Bored, Bored, Bored.

There had to be something interesting going on...

What, did everyone decide to take a day off? Was the world not ending? Did Scion take back all his Shards and commit Seppuku?

Gah, screw this. Time Travel shenanigans are go.

* * *

Golem punched down, and Grue was struck by one thousand diamond fists of fury.

Snarling, the villain lifed his hand, and shoot tqo orbs of darkness at Golem.

The first hit him in the face, blinding him. The second exploded on Tecton's fist.

Rushing forward, Tecton activated his gauntlets, and hit one of Racheals dogs with the force of a planet-shattering earthquake.

A sudden chainsaw to the back informed him of Imp's presence. Tecton chocked out a warning, and Annex burst out of his costume, and into Imp's.

Imp blushed, and Regent immediately started moving Annex like a puppet, moving him out of Imp's costume. Annex then began punching himself in the face.

Cuff rode in, leaving a big floating trail adamantium chains beneath her as she moved. She rode in to smash Regent, but was interrupted by one of Bitch's hounds developing teleportation. Cuff gathered the adamantium around her, created a suit of power armour, before punching at the dog. The dog teleported behing her, then above her.

Cuff sighed, and shifted the adamantium into a bone shape. The hound began chewing on it, leaving Grace to go fight the other Undersiders.

Tattletale watched the battle, then turned to the audience.

"See, Fanfiction Dot Net? Powers here are bullshit. Can I go somewhere less overpowered now, author?"

No.

"Fuck you."

An anvil appeared from nowhere, dropping onto Tattletale's head, knocking her out.

"Actually, that would kill m-"

_Knocking her out._

"Shutting up now."

Good. Now onto the main attraction.

A swarm of bees fought a swarm of butterflied. A swarm of spiders fought a swarm of... more butterflies.

Outside the two swarms, Bitch and Grace stood.

"You can't even see them in there." Said Grace.

"Yeah." Agreed Bitch. "They must be beating the shit out of each other."

Inside the swarm, a battle raged.

It was an epic battle, with much dodging and attacking and counterattacking. A battle so epic, that to put it into words would do it shame.

The battle lasted ages, before the mighty hero fell.

"Oh, that's just _bullshit!" _Declared Weaver, as she threw the controller at the screen. "Fuck you, Dark Souls!"

"I still have no idea how you convinced Ziz to let you have that during this." Replied Skitter.

"Probably hoped that I'd try hit you when I got frustrated enough."

"Are you going to do that?"

"Nah. Not when we could go out, claim we have an agreement, and take everyone out for Ice Cream."

"Brilliant idea. Who's paying?"

"Regent, I'd say. He's going to be making jokes the entire time about threesomes and twin fantasies, so let's empty out his wallet."

"Sounds good."

The two walked out of the raging swarms.

Grace looked at Weaver. "Please tell me you didn't turn evil again. I still have arachnophobia from the last time."


	5. Birdcage

Marquis stood at the front of his squard, preparing for the breakout.

"Here's the plan." Said String Theory. "I hit the wall with my planet cracking devices. As soon as a crack appears, probably after a few hours of bombardment, Black Kaze rushes in and opens a passage, and we rush out."

Everyone nodded.

"Now there will inevitably be some of Dragons drones there, and as you sacrifice you lives to distract them, I will be going back to my lab to finish the Sun Crusher. Your sacrifice will be forgotten when I use it to kill everyone."

There was silence for a moment.

"Can we use a differant plan?" Called Teacher. "Preferably one that doesn't require us all to be dumber then my thralls."

String Theory frowned. "Well, I guess we could band together to fight off Dragon's drones, then all run at the same time... But I prefer the plan which has all you losers trapped here."

"Why don't we put it to a vote?" Suggested Marquis. "All those who don't want to die horribly, raise your hands."

Everyone put their hands up.

"It's decided then." Said Marquis. "We all live."

"This plan sucks." Muttered String Theory mournfully, as he activated her planet cracking weapons.

It took roughly three hours for the villains to scratch the wall, at which point, Black Kaze sliced, and the walls fell.

A large cry rang out, as the occupants of the Birdcage charged.

"They're all idiots." Said Marquis, as the inevitable betrayals began.

Gavel walked through the hoard, backhanding everything that apprached a metre of him, tearing through the ranks.

Lab Rat threw formula's everywhere, turning people into literal guinea pigs.

Canary sang a little tune, and everyone nearby stopped, and began attacking everone close to the exit.

"It's a bit pathetic, isn't it?" Noted Teacher, as he walked through the chaos to the exit.

"I must say," Began Marquis, as people around him mysteriously lost their skeletons. "I'm suprised you aren't betraying anyone."

Teacher snorted. "I may be an evil dick, but I'm not _that_ stupid."

Smiling, Black Kaze began turning people around her into chunky salsa.

"She's a bit terrifying, isn't she?" Asked String Theory.

"She's one of the two people capable of permenantly killing someone." Replied Teacher. "She's terrifying by default."

Ingenue had the sudden urge to shout 'Foreshadowing!'

"Well, here we are." Said Marquis. "One step to freedom."

Teacher looked around, back at all the unconsious and dead villains.

Black Kaze was the last one standing.

Then she vanished.

Teacher had just enough time to say 'Fuck' before he found a blade stuck in his brain.

String Theory fell a moment later, and Black Kaze stood in front of Marquis.

"You didn't perma-kill them." Noted Marquis.

"No point." Replied Black Kaze. "If I perma-killed anyone here, I'd run out soon enough, and wouldn't have anyone to kill."

"Fair enough." Replied Marquis.

There was a beat.

"This was fun." Said Marquis. "See you next Thursday."

Black Kaze flickered, and Marquis fell apart on a molecular level.

Shrugging, Black Kaze turned around and walked back to her cell.

* * *

"The really funny part," Dragon said, as she repaired the wall. "Is that I don't even have any special defences here. Birdcage is just a normal prison."


	6. Uber and Leet

"Well." Said Leet. "That went well."

Uber paused to glare at his friend, then went back to trying to take off the Kamui replica.

"I mean." Leet explained. "We managed to pay out all the damages with the donations we got from this stunt, put a few trillion to The Project, and still have enough left over to live like kings for the rest of eternity."

Uber sighed. "Yeah, yeah."

"Hey, it's not my fault that Broketsu tried to eat me when I put him on. And I promised to make it up to you."

"How?"

Leet grabbed a blueprint from the wall, seemingly at random, and showed it to Uber.

There was complete silence for a minute, before Uber grinned.

"All is forgiven. Sorry for doubting you."

"No problem. Now, pass me that wrench."

* * *

"Leet, my friend, you have outdone yourself."

"Really?" Asked Leet. "I think I could have done better."

"No, seriously, this is the better then that time you made actual Pokemon." Uber remarked.

"I wonder who took those Poocheyena..."

Meanwhile, on the other side of Brockton Bay, Bitch sneezed

"Never mind that." Said Uber. "Now, let's get this thing moving!"

Leet smiled, and pressed a big red button.

The Evangelion stood.

* * *

Armsmaster looked at the giant robot, which was currently ripping Dragon's attack zepplins out of the sky.

"Challenge accepted."

* * *

"Didn't we wreck Armsmaster's Jaegar when we did Gundam?"

"He had two. The Endbringer-sized one, and the Endbringer stomping one. We wrecked the Endbringer-sized one."

"Ah."

"Speaking of which, were's Miss Militia?"

There was a sudden explosion, and something walked out of the resulting inferno.

"Never mind."

"I didn't know she was a Gunbuster fan."

* * *

Armsmaster looked at Miss Militia.

"Stop encouraging them." He commanded.

"You're fighting them in a Jaegar, and you're getting mad at me for encouraging them?"

"What's a Jaegar?"

"..."

"What?"

* * *

"This is so freaking awesome." Said Uber, smiling. "Totally makes up for the Kamui."

Leet smiled. "What did I say?"

"That I'd get to be Gamago-"

"About the Evangelion."

"Oh. Never mind."

"...Am I the only one who can hear the Imperial March?"

* * *

"Turn that off Regent." Demanded Skitter.

"No." Countered the son of Heartbreaker. "Fuck you."

"Do what I say, or you won't be able to have kids."

"I wouldn't be so certain." Replied Regent smugly.

"Why not?" Asked the bug controller.

"Uber and Leet's new project? It's biological." Regent clicked his fingers, and the Evangelion turned to Skitter.

"...Oh, come on."

* * *

"Don't worry." Said Leet. "I was prepared for this eventuality."

Smiling he pressed a button.

* * *

"And since you can't kill me now, Grue, I have something to tell you."

"What is it?" Grunted the former leader of the Undersiders.

"Well, you see, me and your sister-"

The Evangelion roared, and went berserk.

Regent looked at it for a moment.

"...Well, there goes my control."

"What was that about my sister?" Asked Brian.

"Shit."

* * *

"Sweet! We aren't under his control any more!"

"What did I say, Uber? I prepared for everything."

Uber and Leet smiled for a moment, before Uber turned to his friend.

"So... How do we put this under control again?"

The smirk on Leet's face was replaced with one of dawning comprehension.

"...Maybe not _every_thing..."

* * *

Miss Militia looked at the rampaging beast.

"Hey Armsmaster? I've tried everthing I can think of-"

"You have done nothing."

"-And nothing's worked. We may not make it out of here."

"Don't you dare."

"I'm sorry, Armsmaster, this is the only way."

"I'm docking your pay."

"Tell Velocity I'm sorry."

"You started dating him just to make these moments more dramatic, didn't you."

"Goodbye, Colin."

"I'm going to take a nap."

Miss Militia ran at the Evangelion, and pressed the self destruct.

Armsmaster shrugged, and went home.

* * *

"Well." Said Leet. "That went well."

Uber paused to glare at his friend, then went back to trying to take off the Plugsuit.

"Alright, I screwed up there." Said Leet. "But I'll make it up to you. The Project is already half done, and I have the perfect idea for what to do to make it up to you."

Leet grabbed a blueprint off the wall, and showed it to Uber.

"...Barbie?"

Leet's eyes went wide in horror, and he quickly stuffed the blueprint behind his back.

"No. That's not it. It's... This one."

Uber looked at the second blueprint for a moment, before smiling.

"Now, we need to work out the finer details-"

"No Chyssalids."

"-But I think XCOM would be perfect for our next project."

Uber smiled. "Well, let's get to work, Bro."


End file.
